Zambonis, Santa and Treehouses

This was Dylan's first weekend of being on his Biphentin so it was going to be a good marker on its effectiveness for me.

On Saturday it was my husbands annual company charity hockey game held in one of the arenas in Elmira. This was an event I was secretly dreading if last years event was anything to go by!

Last year I never really got a chance to see any of his game as Dylan was completely wild. He wouldn't sit still and he kept trying to run away from me and to run around the entire arena (this arena is Olympic sized so its a lot larger than your average indoor skate rink). This wasn't an easy task for me as my other son, Logan, was only eight months old. Thankfully the wife of one of my husband's co worker's was there to lend a hand on catching Dylan for me. It was a very stressful day for me, again with it being in public, I felt that people must be thinking what an unruly out of control kid I have.

This year I was dreading it because the other wife would not be able to lend a hand if needed as she had just had her first child two weeks prior to the game. Thankfully it was a nice thought when one of our friends decided he wanted to come along and see the game. Dylan ADORES him so it was nice to know I would have that extra pair of hands. Dylan loves watching Zambonis anytime we go to ice rinks so I was hoping that would be a good distraction for him and a good bargaining tool to maybe get him to behave

What a surprise I got...

Dylan was a dream to be with! He stayed sitting on one of the fold down arena seats for a lot of the time and the times he didn't it was just to go to the empty seat directly behind me so I could lift him back over to our row and not to forget he was in complete awe watching the Zambonis! In fact I was a lot busier chasing after Logan (who is now twenty months old) as he wanted to do a little exploring and I even had Dylan offering to get Logan for me. I really cant believe the difference in how he was, yeah he still had a high level of energy but no where near what he was like the previous year!

After the game I wanted to head down to one of our local stores to buy some new Christmas decorations for our tree as last year with an eight month old and new puppy the bottom half of my tree ended up rather bare. We all went down as a family and as we got into the store the kids got to meet Santa. Straight away Dylan starts rhyming off his Christmas list, which basically consists of Transformers, he then got a candy cane and seemed really pleased with himself that he got to tell Santa what he wanted. We did have a couple of very minor tantrums in the store which were resolved very easily so all in all Saturday was a good day.

Today (Sunday) has been a kinda lazy day for us all. We all stayed in apart from my husband heading out a couple times to go get groceries we needed for the start of a new school week. One thing I have noticed since Dylan started his Biphentin is that his attention span is a lot longer than it was previously. Dylan never really had focus so if he was doing an activity it was usually very short lived however now it has totally changed. He recently has started to enjoy playing the learning games on the Internet from the TV channel Treehouse and I can't believe how well he is doing. He is sitting for longer periods of time concentrating on the game he is playing and is extremely motivated and proud of himself for doing so well on them. Another thing I have noticed is if we ask Dylan a question whilst he is doing these games he answers us straight away where as in the past we would have had to say his name SEVERAL times before we even got a partial reply.

All in all its been a good weekend with Dylan and here's hoping it will continue. I'm interested to hear how hes going to get on at school being on the Biphentin as he was unwell last week so this will be his first week of school on it

Fingers crossed they will be as happy as me..

ADHD and Me

As I wrote in my previous post my original perception of ADHD was wrong. Its not just about a child who is on the go all day everyday where maybe some medication might calm them down, its a lot more than that. Theres the worry, the stress, the frustration and the challenges that not only affect the individual who has been diagnosed but the entire family unit.

I'm new to the world of ADHD, my four year old son was only diagnosed five days ago so I know I have a very long challenging road ahead of me which a lot of people in my position have been experiencing for years.

So how is this affecting me..

Dont get me wrong, I'm proud of myself for stepping up and getting a diagnosis and 90% of me is happy that its been diagnosed but theres that 10% that is asking why me, why my son. I look at him and he looks like a normal child however deep inside I'm filled with worry.

I worry that hes going to struggle with school as he can't keep his attention, I worry he will get bullied because other kids think hes not normal or has special needs. I worry about the side affects of his medication and how dependent he might become on them. I worry about the comorbid disorders that can be associated with ADHD, for example:

• ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) 
• CD (Conduct Disorder)
• Borderline Personality Disorder
• Mood and Anxiety Disorders
• Bipolar Disorder
• OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)

There's definitely a lot to worry about with ADHD but my main worry is I cant cope or cant be the support he requires to get through life.

I suppose its just natural as every mum wants nothing but the best for their child and as our journey progresses I will probably look back at this post and wonder what I was ever worried about. In the meantime I am just going to do whatever I can to make Dylan's life not so frustrating.

Its a stressful condition to deal with, you just dont know when hes going to have his next meltdown. Will it be in the house or out in public. I have had several experiences of public temper tantrums with him and they are far from fun. You get looked at by complete strangers who are too quick to judge and think hes just a naughty boy or a complete brat without thinking that maybe theres an underlying cause which makes him act like this. You hear people muttering under their breaths that its ridiculous I let him act like that in public or have other customers in stores complaining to staff members about him and they come up and tell you hes making too much noise or making to much of a scene and that you may be asked to leave the premises as its upsetting their customers... ohh and you dont think its upsetting me! It gets to the stage you dont want to take him out anywhere just incase his timebomb goes off which isnt fair for him.

Its frustrating because at this point of time I dont know 100% whats going on in his wee mind, what hes thinking or what hes needing help with. Dylan has no concept of time and thinks everything needs to be done then and there. Its frustrating for me when I'm trying to do other things around the house or with his brother and he expects me to drop what ever I am doing to help him and when I cant it frustrates him and becomes a vicious circle.

The challenges are there everyday... how to do something and avoid a temper tantrum, how to give him his medication without him realising I'm doing it like sprinkling it in yogurts and on top of pancakes. His biggest challenge to come is probably going to be when he finishes JK and SK, how he will cope with grade 1 and beyond with regards to school work.

As mentioned above I'm glad I took him to the doctors its lifted that uncertainty from my shoulders to an extent (Dylan's diagnosis is not complete yet he has still to be tested for Aspergers Syndrome) but I haven't just done it for me, I have done it for him. Now he can receive the help and support that he requires to help him have as close to a normal life as possible. He is now on medication to help calm him down and have more focus which I have to say is working although he is experiencing some side effects from it, the main one being a decreased appetite which is a tough one to deal with at the moment as Dylan is such a picky eater to start with. So fingers crossed his medication continues to work and he wont be changed over to a different type at our next appointment in January. 

In the meantime its up to me to find out as much as I possibly can about this condition so I can be my son's rock and see him succeed at the things he wishes to do in his life. 

Our Journey to Discovery

In the past if someone mentioned the term ADHD to me I would automatically picture in my head a young child (usually boy) jumping about crazily from the minute they got up to the minute they go to bed albeit in a full of fun manner..

Boy was I wrong...

My four year old son Dylan is a lovable little boy who loves cars trucks and transformers however he has a "dark side" that likes to rear its ugly head more times than not. His "dark side" first introduced itself to me just before his second birthday in the form of uncontrollable temper tantrums which I first shrugged off as "The terrible twos" and the fact I was pregnant with my second child which meant Dylan would no longer have mummy's undivided attention. Unfortunately these tempers did not subside in fact they got worse where he would drop himself to the floor and scream until he was blue in the face, he wouldn't move from the spot on the floor and completely refused to stand up. Dylan's tempers were not quiet either and there was times at my midwife appointments he would start and my midwife use to try and discipline him in front of both myself and my husband  whilst we dealing with it ourselves ourselves which really infuriated me so it got to the stage I used to tell my husband just to take Dylan back down to the car whilst I was in there even though  I wanted Dylan to be involved as much as possible throughout the pregnancy by listening to his siblings heartbeat with the Doppler so he wouldn't  feel left out

Another thing I noticed with Dylan which was strange to me was his adverse reaction towards other children. Dylan at a younger age was great around other kids however after a friend came to stay with us for a week with her son (who was the same age as Dylan) he would not go near other kids, for example, if we took him to a park he would quite happily play but if another child went on to the slide whilst he was on it he would come running off it and only go on it if the other child left or if either myself or his daddy went on the slide with him. Again as much as I found it strange at first, I shrugged it off and put it down to him being a shy child.

Just before Dylan's third birthday I made the decision to start him in daycare and I only wanted him to attend two days a week. I had three reasons for it, the first reason was I wanted him to be able to start working on his social skills and get him prepared for starting JK the following year by spending time with children his own age.The second reason was that Dylan was a late talker and at this age he wasn't the best at stringing together sentences or able to let a conversation flow easily between him and someone else therefore I thought with him spending time with other children it would encourage his speech. Finally the third reason was that Dylan was now a big brother to little Logan who was approximately 3 months old at this time and I really needed the time to spend with him as Dylan was a very demanding toddler and every time I sat down to nurse my newest addition Dylan would start a temper as he wanted something at that exact time and I wasn't able to jump up immediately and help him.

When Dylan was three years old the tempers continued and also his energy levels increased dramatically! People would comment on how he was such a busy boy and that he was non stop and I used to smile, laugh and reply "yeah he definitely keeps me on my toes" but truth be told I was severely worn out. From the minute Dylan got up in the morning to the minute he went to bed he was on the go. He would run everywhere and if he wasn't running he was jumping and if he wasn't jumping he was climbing and to top it all off I had a six month old who was also mobile and usually going in the opposite direction from Dylan!  It was also at this age my fear happened for the first time... Dylan ran away from us in a grocery store and I couldn't find him anywhere, I felt sick and it felt as though my heart stopped beating. Finally I found him walking up an aisle with an employee towards me and I had never felt more relieved in my life. It was also around this age where he started having severe temper tantrums when I had him out with me in stores. he would scream high pitched, shout, refuse to walk, try and hit me whilst turning a nice shade of red and the looks from other people were horrendous... I was absolutely embarrassed as people would look at me as if I was an unfit mother with an extremely bratty child. I would leave stores before I was able to get what I needed and it got to the stage I would refuse to go anywhere with him if I was by myself through fear of him having one of his tantrums in public.

By this point Dylan was heavily involved with an organisation called Kids Ability which was arranged through his daycare. The daycare still had concerns with regards to his social skills and now they were concerned with his speech and some fine motor skills so through this organisation, which serves children from birth to eighteen years old with special needs, he was assigned an Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist and a Support Assistant. It was also at this time I started having that motherly instinct where I thought something wasn't quite right. The first thing that came to my mind was Autism but I would argue with myself that I was just over analyzing him and he was just an active boy. Then the day came where I had one of the worst temper tantrums from him that I have ever seen all because I asked him to pick up some toys and he didn't want to do it. He would deliberately try and hit his brother, he would throw things and scream like he was being murdered and I just couldn't take it anymore and I broke down in tears myself and kept asking "Why me.. am I really a bad mother?"

Dylan had just turned four in August 2011 and I received his latest report from Kids Ability in which some points were good some points not so good. He was still struggling with social skills and would rather play by himself unless he was encouraged by an adult to go ask another child to play with him where the play would only last five minutes before Dylan was back at said adult and asking them what they were doing instead. He was having increased temper tantrums and was refusing to do things which he was capable of doing by himself like putting on his jacket and it was taking two to three daycare teachers to help calm him down and get him dressed and then there was a new thing that was mentioned.. he was "mouthing objects"  Enough was enough it was time to take him to the Doctors and put my mind at rest.

I took him to our family Doctors the following week with my report from Kids Ability in hand and discussed my concerns with our Doctor. I gave him the report so he could see what others have observed about him and he agreed there was some cause for concern. His conclusion was possible Aspergers Syndrome and/or ADHD and that he would be referring Dylan to a pediatrician. At that point I felt a slight ease with myself as now I knew it wasn't just me over reacting or over analyzing Dylan.

Two weeks after Dylan's appointment it was time for his first day of school, he was starting JK. I got to go with him for a meet the teacher appointment before his first proper day where I was able to discuss with her Dylan's doctors appointment a fortnight earlier. She was very understanding and told me they have stratagies in place should Dylan have problems which made me feel reassured he would be in good hands. Once JK had officially started so did the issues with Dylan where he was constantly toileting himself in class and it was at this point I made contact with the Special Ed teacher for the school. I had a lengthy telephone conversation with her and all I can say is she was amazing. I kept in regular contact with her and she kept me updated with all the information she had in relation to Dylan's possible diagnosis.

This now takes us to this week, November 22nd to be precise, as this was Dylan's pediatrician appointment. We went along to his appointment and she was able to see Dylan in true form. He constantly ran out the room we were in and even tried to run out her Office to get to the elevators, he would scream, shout, completely misbehave, jump up and down on the examination bed, try to pull the vitals instruments off the wall and run into other rooms and pull charts off the walls and bring them into her. There's a part of me that's glad he acted this way as she was able to see what I'm faced with on a daily basis but there was part of me that was completely embarrassed by his behaviour. After going through the multitude of questions with her she gave me her diagnosis. It turns out Dylan has ADHD however she is not ruling out Aspergers Syndrome as he had a considerable amount of markers still pointing to that however she is unable to give a proper diagnosis of Aspergers until the ADHD is under control. He was prescribed a medication right there and then. Dylan is now on Biphentin but only 5mg of it at the moment which means every second morning I have to open a capsule and split the little balls in half the best I can. We have to go back to the Pediatrician on January 18th to hopefully get a proper assessment on the Aspergers Syndrome.

So now its the start of our new journey...