As I wrote in my previous post my original perception of ADHD was wrong. Its not just about a child who is on the go all day everyday where maybe some medication might calm them down, its a lot more than that. Theres the worry, the stress, the frustration and the challenges that not only affect the individual who has been diagnosed but the entire family unit.
I'm new to the world of ADHD, my four year old son was only diagnosed five days ago so I know I have a very long challenging road ahead of me which a lot of people in my position have been experiencing for years.
So how is this affecting me..
Dont get me wrong, I'm proud of myself for stepping up and getting a diagnosis and 90% of me is happy that its been diagnosed but theres that 10% that is asking why me, why my son. I look at him and he looks like a normal child however deep inside I'm filled with worry.
I worry that hes going to struggle with school as he can't keep his attention, I worry he will get bullied because other kids think hes not normal or has special needs. I worry about the side affects of his medication and how dependent he might become on them. I worry about the comorbid disorders that can be associated with ADHD, for example:
- ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)
- CD (Conduct Disorder)
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Mood and Anxiety Disorders
- Bipolar Disorder
- OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
There's definitely a lot to worry about with ADHD but my main worry is I cant cope or cant be the support he requires to get through life.
I suppose its just natural as every mum wants nothing but the best for their child and as our journey progresses I will probably look back at this post and wonder what I was ever worried about. In the meantime I am just going to do whatever I can to make Dylan's life not so frustrating.
Its a stressful condition to deal with, you just dont know when hes going to have his next meltdown. Will it be in the house or out in public. I have had several experiences of public temper tantrums with him and they are far from fun. You get looked at by complete strangers who are too quick to judge and think hes just a naughty boy or a complete brat without thinking that maybe theres an underlying cause which makes him act like this. You hear people muttering under their breaths that its ridiculous I let him act like that in public or have other customers in stores complaining to staff members about him and they come up and tell you hes making too much noise or making to much of a scene and that you may be asked to leave the premises as its upsetting their customers... ohh and you dont think its upsetting me! It gets to the stage you dont want to take him out anywhere just incase his timebomb goes off which isnt fair for him.
Its frustrating because at this point of time I dont know 100% whats going on in his wee mind, what hes thinking or what hes needing help with. Dylan has no concept of time and thinks everything needs to be done then and there. Its frustrating for me when I'm trying to do other things around the house or with his brother and he expects me to drop what ever I am doing to help him and when I cant it frustrates him and becomes a vicious circle.
The challenges are there everyday... how to do something and avoid a temper tantrum, how to give him his medication without him realising I'm doing it like sprinkling it in yogurts and on top of pancakes. His biggest challenge to come is probably going to be when he finishes JK and SK, how he will cope with grade 1 and beyond with regards to school work.
As mentioned above I'm glad I took him to the doctors its lifted that uncertainty from my shoulders to an extent (Dylan's diagnosis is not complete yet he has still to be tested for Aspergers Syndrome) but I haven't just done it for me, I have done it for him. Now he can receive the help and support that he requires to help him have as close to a normal life as possible. He is now on medication to help calm him down and have more focus which I have to say is working although he is experiencing some side effects from it, the main one being a decreased appetite which is a tough one to deal with at the moment as Dylan is such a picky eater to start with. So fingers crossed his medication continues to work and he wont be changed over to a different type at our next appointment in January.
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