In the past if someone mentioned the term ADHD to me I would automatically picture in my head a young child (usually boy) jumping about crazily from the minute they got up to the minute they go to bed albeit in a full of fun manner..
Boy was I wrong...
My four year old son Dylan is a lovable little boy who loves cars trucks and transformers however he has a "dark side" that likes to rear its ugly head more times than not. His "dark side" first introduced itself to me just before his second birthday in the form of uncontrollable temper tantrums which I first shrugged off as "The terrible twos" and the fact I was pregnant with my second child which meant Dylan would no longer have mummy's undivided attention. Unfortunately these tempers did not subside in fact they got worse where he would drop himself to the floor and scream until he was blue in the face, he wouldn't move from the spot on the floor and completely refused to stand up. Dylan's tempers were not quiet either and there was times at my midwife appointments he would start and my midwife use to try and discipline him in front of both myself and my husband whilst we dealing with it ourselves ourselves which really infuriated me so it got to the stage I used to tell my husband just to take Dylan back down to the car whilst I was in there even though I wanted Dylan to be involved as much as possible throughout the pregnancy by listening to his siblings heartbeat with the Doppler so he wouldn't feel left out
Another thing I noticed with Dylan which was strange to me was his adverse reaction towards other children. Dylan at a younger age was great around other kids however after a friend came to stay with us for a week with her son (who was the same age as Dylan) he would not go near other kids, for example, if we took him to a park he would quite happily play but if another child went on to the slide whilst he was on it he would come running off it and only go on it if the other child left or if either myself or his daddy went on the slide with him. Again as much as I found it strange at first, I shrugged it off and put it down to him being a shy child.
Just before Dylan's third birthday I made the decision to start him in daycare and I only wanted him to attend two days a week. I had three reasons for it, the first reason was I wanted him to be able to start working on his social skills and get him prepared for starting JK the following year by spending time with children his own age.The second reason was that Dylan was a late talker and at this age he wasn't the best at stringing together sentences or able to let a conversation flow easily between him and someone else therefore I thought with him spending time with other children it would encourage his speech. Finally the third reason was that Dylan was now a big brother to little Logan who was approximately 3 months old at this time and I really needed the time to spend with him as Dylan was a very demanding toddler and every time I sat down to nurse my newest addition Dylan would start a temper as he wanted something at that exact time and I wasn't able to jump up immediately and help him.
When Dylan was three years old the tempers continued and also his energy levels increased dramatically! People would comment on how he was such a busy boy and that he was non stop and I used to smile, laugh and reply "yeah he definitely keeps me on my toes" but truth be told I was severely worn out. From the minute Dylan got up in the morning to the minute he went to bed he was on the go. He would run everywhere and if he wasn't running he was jumping and if he wasn't jumping he was climbing and to top it all off I had a six month old who was also mobile and usually going in the opposite direction from Dylan! It was also at this age my fear happened for the first time... Dylan ran away from us in a grocery store and I couldn't find him anywhere, I felt sick and it felt as though my heart stopped beating. Finally I found him walking up an aisle with an employee towards me and I had never felt more relieved in my life. It was also around this age where he started having severe temper tantrums when I had him out with me in stores. he would scream high pitched, shout, refuse to walk, try and hit me whilst turning a nice shade of red and the looks from other people were horrendous... I was absolutely embarrassed as people would look at me as if I was an unfit mother with an extremely bratty child. I would leave stores before I was able to get what I needed and it got to the stage I would refuse to go anywhere with him if I was by myself through fear of him having one of his tantrums in public.
By this point Dylan was heavily involved with an organisation called Kids Ability which was arranged through his daycare. The daycare still had concerns with regards to his social skills and now they were concerned with his speech and some fine motor skills so through this organisation, which serves children from birth to eighteen years old with special needs, he was assigned an Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist and a Support Assistant. It was also at this time I started having that motherly instinct where I thought something wasn't quite right. The first thing that came to my mind was Autism but I would argue with myself that I was just over analyzing him and he was just an active boy. Then the day came where I had one of the worst temper tantrums from him that I have ever seen all because I asked him to pick up some toys and he didn't want to do it. He would deliberately try and hit his brother, he would throw things and scream like he was being murdered and I just couldn't take it anymore and I broke down in tears myself and kept asking "Why me.. am I really a bad mother?"
Dylan had just turned four in August 2011 and I received his latest report from Kids Ability in which some points were good some points not so good. He was still struggling with social skills and would rather play by himself unless he was encouraged by an adult to go ask another child to play with him where the play would only last five minutes before Dylan was back at said adult and asking them what they were doing instead. He was having increased temper tantrums and was refusing to do things which he was capable of doing by himself like putting on his jacket and it was taking two to three daycare teachers to help calm him down and get him dressed and then there was a new thing that was mentioned.. he was "mouthing objects" Enough was enough it was time to take him to the Doctors and put my mind at rest.
I took him to our family Doctors the following week with my report from Kids Ability in hand and discussed my concerns with our Doctor. I gave him the report so he could see what others have observed about him and he agreed there was some cause for concern. His conclusion was possible Aspergers Syndrome and/or ADHD and that he would be referring Dylan to a pediatrician. At that point I felt a slight ease with myself as now I knew it wasn't just me over reacting or over analyzing Dylan.
Two weeks after Dylan's appointment it was time for his first day of school, he was starting JK. I got to go with him for a meet the teacher appointment before his first proper day where I was able to discuss with her Dylan's doctors appointment a fortnight earlier. She was very understanding and told me they have stratagies in place should Dylan have problems which made me feel reassured he would be in good hands. Once JK had officially started so did the issues with Dylan where he was constantly toileting himself in class and it was at this point I made contact with the Special Ed teacher for the school. I had a lengthy telephone conversation with her and all I can say is she was amazing. I kept in regular contact with her and she kept me updated with all the information she had in relation to Dylan's possible diagnosis.
This now takes us to this week, November 22nd to be precise, as this was Dylan's pediatrician appointment. We went along to his appointment and she was able to see Dylan in true form. He constantly ran out the room we were in and even tried to run out her Office to get to the elevators, he would scream, shout, completely misbehave, jump up and down on the examination bed, try to pull the vitals instruments off the wall and run into other rooms and pull charts off the walls and bring them into her. There's a part of me that's glad he acted this way as she was able to see what I'm faced with on a daily basis but there was part of me that was completely embarrassed by his behaviour. After going through the multitude of questions with her she gave me her diagnosis. It turns out Dylan has ADHD however she is not ruling out Aspergers Syndrome as he had a considerable amount of markers still pointing to that however she is unable to give a proper diagnosis of Aspergers until the ADHD is under control. He was prescribed a medication right there and then. Dylan is now on Biphentin but only 5mg of it at the moment which means every second morning I have to open a capsule and split the little balls in half the best I can. We have to go back to the Pediatrician on January 18th to hopefully get a proper assessment on the Aspergers Syndrome.
So now its the start of our new journey...
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